


hi im france

by bi_lovely



Series: texting amis [1]
Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: Bad Puns, F/F, Group Chat Fic, Group chat, M/M, No Plot, Texting, That's it, it's never said that cosette and eponine are dating, just typos and shenanigans, later in the series it'll be addressed, texting fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-07
Updated: 2017-03-07
Packaged: 2018-09-30 06:25:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,536
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10156130
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bi_lovely/pseuds/bi_lovely
Summary: R: my dear enjolras does not understand happinessR: he only understandsR: ,,,,R: R E V O L U T I O N





	

**Author's Note:**

> Enjolras — E
> 
> Grantaire — R
> 
> Combeferre — combeferre
> 
> Courfeyrac — CourfTheRockJohnson
> 
> Eponine — epipen
> 
> Marius — bitchass
> 
> Cosette — cassettetape
> 
> Joly — holyjoly
> 
> Jehan — flowerchild

_ CourfTheRockJohnson  _ has added  _ combeferre, holyjoly, flowerchild, R, E, epipen, cassettetape,  _ and  _ bitchass  _ to the conversation

_ combeferre:  _ what the fuck?

_ holyjoly:  _ i do not approve 

_ flowerchild:  _ I DO

_ CourfTheRockJohnson:  _ :) welcome my buddy chum pal friend buddies

_ cassettetape:  _ here we go again 

_ bitchass:  _ again ???

_ epipen:  _ who the fuck is bitchass and may i ask,,, why

_ bitchass:  _ i am marius hi 

_ bitchass:  _ courf made my account and chose my username and well

_ bitchass:  _ here we are 

_ epipen:  _ oh yeah remember when we used to exclude marius from our group chats lmaooooo

_ R:  _ marius my dude you could just change it ???

_ bitchass:  _ hEY

_ bitchass:  _ eh im too lazy

_ E:  _ i hate

_ R:  _ hello my beloved 

_ E:  _ what is the meaning of this 

_ flowerchild:  _ happiness

_ E:  _ oh 

_ R:  _ my dear enjolras does not understand happiness 

_ R:  _ he only understands

_ R:  _ ,,,,

_ R:  _ R E V O L U T I O N

_ E:  _ im offended

_ E:  _ by how true this is

_ holyjoly:  _ no offense ferre but ya username is kinda lame

_ flowerchild:  _ it’s pathetic actually 

_ combeferre:  _ it’s my name though ??

_ epipen:  _ exactly how boring can ya get 

_ combeferre:  _ :(

_ holyjoly:  _ how did you even get just your first name anyway? i can’t believe it was available

_ combeferre:  _ dude i have a weird ass french name at least half of us could just use our names 

_ combeferre:  _ like you really think courfeyrac is taken? you think grantaire or eponine is already in use? you don’t think that someone could easily get ahold of enjolras as a username?? you’re more surprised that fucking jehan isn’t taken than just single letters like E and R ????????

_ CourfTheRockJohnson:  _ wait but what’re we gonna name this groupchat my dudes??

_ combeferre:  _ why are you changing the subject when i am clearly winning this argument?

_ CourfTheRockJohnson:  _ first of all you sound like enjolras shut up 

_ E:  _ whats wrong with that 

_ CourfTheRockJohnson:  _ second of all I WANT A NAME FOR THE FACKIN GROUP CONVO

_ flowerchild:  _ hmmmm,,

_ holyjoly:  _ you started it so why dont you name it ??

_ CourfTheRockJohnson:  _ do i seriously have to do ALL the work around here joly? what am i your personal slave? slavery was abolished

_ CourfTheRockJohnson:  _ in 1865

_ E:  _ um actually it was 1794

_ CourfTheRockJohnson:  _ by the great Abe Lincoln

_ combeferre:  _ ???

_ cassettetape:  _ i

_ CourfTheRockJohnson:  _ the 17th president of these united states

_ E:  _ ok first of all lincoln was the 16th president of america 

_ CourfTheRockJohnson:  _ no

_ CourfTheRockJohnson:  _ 17th

_ CourfTheRockJohnson:  _ i should now

_ CourfTheRockJohnson:  _ he is my father hWOW

_ epipen:  _ im gonna yell 

_ CourfTheRockJohnson:  _ ok anyway group chat names go

_ E  _ has named the conversation  **_FUCK THE POLICE_ **

_ flowerchild:  _ idk that kinda sounds like we wanna fuck the police

_ E  _ has renamed the conversation  **_I FUCK FRANCE ERY’DAY_ **

_ E:  _ there ya go

_ holyjoly:  _ ehhh

_ R  _ has renamed the conversation  **_HI IM FRANCE_ **

_ epipen:  _ there it is

_ holyjoly:  _ ok guys ok guys step aside

_ holyjoly:  _ i got this

_ holyjoly  _ has renamed the conversation  **_med students at your cervix_ **

_ R:  _ joly you’re literally the only med student

_ holyjoly:  _ bUT THE PUN

_ CourfTheRockJohnson:  _ it was incredible

_ CourfTheRockJohnson:  _ but no

_ CourfTheRockJohnson:  _ how about,,,

_ CourfTheRockJohnson  _ has renamed the conversation  **_the round pegs in square holes_ **

_ CourfTheRockJohnson:  _ how deep is that

_ cassettetape:  _ i’ve never seen something so lame 

_ epipen:  _ i just puked a lil bit

_ epipen  _ renamed the conversation  **_sassy classy bitches_ **

_ bitchass:  _ ew no

_ epipen:  _ marius are you sassy 

_ bitchass:  _ no

_ epipen:  _ and are you classy 

_ bitchass:  _ idk

_ epipen:  _ and are you a bitch

_ bitchass:  _ no

_ epipen:  _ yes you are

_ cassettetape:  _ there you have it

_ cassettetape:  _ i like it 

_ flowerchild:  _ it’s p cute i approve 

_ CourfTheRockJohnson  _ has renamed the conversation  **_AVENGERS ASSEMBLE_ **

_ epipen:  _ I LIKE THAT BETTER W O O 

_ flowerchild  _ has renamed the conversation  **_flock of gays_ **

_ CourfTheRockJohnson:  _ I APPROVE YES YES

_ R:  _ BEST ONE YET 

_ E:  _ A++

_ holyjoly:  _ yessssssssss go jehan 

_ combeferre:  _ oh cute!

_ epipen:  _ YES

_ cassettetape:  _ YASSSSSSSS

_ bitchass:  _ um but i’m straight guys ??

_ CourfTheRockJohnson:  _ ,,,,,,,,

_ cassettetape:  _ wait you were serious about that??

_ bitchass:  _ yes! we used to date!

_ cassettetape:  _ yeah but im gay i was a late bloomer you could be too 

_ cassettetape:  _ you could be bi like R and ep 

_ R:  _ woot

_ epipen:  _ yeeaaahhhhhh boooiiiiiiiiii

_ bitchass:  _ nope sorry im v straight sorry 

_ epipen:  _ this is why we excluded you from our group conversations in the past ugh 

_ CourfTheRockJohnson:  _ COMBEFERRE WE ARE GETTING A CAT 

_ combeferre:  _ wait what 

_ cassettetape:  _ where the fuck did that even come fromk

_ flowerchild:  _ im overwhelmed 

_ combeferre:  _ i’m lost 

_ CourfTheRockJohnson:  _ ok so bahorel just posted on facebook right 

_ epipen:  _ awww how is he 

_ epipen:  _ wait you still use facebook???

_ CourfTheRockJohnson:  _ yeah??

_ CourfTheRockJohnson:  _ im a middleaged straight white suburban soccer mom who drinks at least 2 glasses of wine a day (because KIDS THESE DAYS) and i would like to speak with your manager

_ epipen:  _ loozah

_ CourfTheRockJohnson:  _ oooookkk

_ CourfTheRockJohnson:  _ aaaanyyyywayyy

_ CourfTheRockJohnson:  _ his mum’s cat had K I T T E N S 

_ cassettetape:  _ AWWWWWWW

_ R:  _ ohmigod bby cats

_ CourfTheRockJohnson:  _ and she’s gonna S E L L them

_ CourfTheRockJohnson:  _ and we

_ CourfTheRockJohnson:  _ meaning ferre and i 

_ CourfTheRockJohnson:  _ ARE GETTING ONE !!!!1!!

_ combeferre:  _ do i have any say in this?

_ CourfTheRockJohnson:  _ N O T   A T   A L L

_ R:  _ i want a cat

_ R:  _ enj

_ E:  _ no

_ R:  _ goddamnit 

_ CourfTheRockJohnson  _ has renamed the conversation  **_name courferre’s cat_ **

_ bitchass:  _ who’s courferre 

_ bitchass:  _ oohhhhh

_ bitchass:  _ wait i get it guys don’t harrass me this time !!!

_ holyjoly:  _ you spelt harass wrong 

_ bitchass:  _ i 

_ cassettetape:  _ marius just leave 

_ epipen:  _ ^^

_ bitchass:  _ i hafe you all 

_ epipen:  _ hafe ???

_ CourfTheRockJohnson:  _ hAFe !!!??!

_ casettetape:  _ what is hafe exactly???

_ R:  _ d e c e a s e d

_ E:  _ oh my god

_ combeferre:  _ marius don’t you know you have to proofread before you send anything in this group chat ???

_ combeferre:  _ one typo and that’s it, you’re dead

_ holyjoly:  _ roasted 4 life

_ flowerchild  _ has renamed the conversation  **_hafe_ **

_ bitchass:  _ what the fuck 

_ bitchass:  _ like what the actual fuck

_ CourfTheRockJohnson:  _  ok guys we all know that making fun of marius is my favorite passtime buuuuuuut 

_ CourfTheRockJohnson  _ has renamed the conversation  **_name courferre’s cat_ **

_ CourfTheRockJohnson:  _ me and ferre’s cat needs a cute ass name

_ R:  _ name is grantaire

_ CourfTheRockJohnson:  _ no

_ R:  _ name it enjoltaire

_ E:  _ wtf

_ CourfTheRockJohnson:  _ mmmmmm

_ CourfTheRockJohnson:  _ no

_ flowerchild:  _ ooh name it derek shepherd

_ casettetape:  _ DO IT 

_ holyjoly:  _ was that a greys anatomy reference

_ flowerchild:  _ yes

_ holyjoly:  _ no

_ holyjoly:  _ stop attacking me this way 

_ R:  _ greys anatomy is a great show whatre you talking aboyt 

_ bitchass:  _ A B O Y T 

_ CourfTheRockJohnson:  _ no its only funny when you’re the one wo fucked up and we’re the ones who make fun of you

_ holyjoly:  _ !!!! incorrect greys anatomy sucks 

_ E:  _ joly even i like greys

_ holyjoly:  _ IF REAL DOCTORS PULLED THE SHIT TV DOCTORS DO THEYD BE FIRED SO HARD

_ CourfTheRockJohnson:  _ THATS BECAUSE IT IS T E L E V I S I ON AND NOT R E A L   L I F E

_ holyjoly:  _ I DONT CARE I WANT ACCURACY

_ CourfTheRockJohnson:  _ TOO FECKIN BADDD

_ bitchass:  _ “fromk” ????? what the heck cosette ??

_ bitchass:  _ what the hell does fromk mean ???

_ casettetape:  _ did you fucking scroll through an hour’s worth of groupchat to find a typo that you can make fun of 

_ casettetape:  _ are you seriously that petty

_ casettetape:  _ are you that bitter about hafe 

_ flowerchild:  _ hafe lmaoooooo

_ flowerchild:  _ still funny

_ bitchass:  _ it was only like TEN MINUTES AGO

_ R:  _ never gets old 

_ E:  _ jesus crhist 

_ bitchass:  _ i was gonna make fun of “crhist” but im not even gonna botter

_ epipen:  _ “botter” lmfao

_ CourfTheRockJohnson:  _ BUT OUR CaT

_ combeferre:  _ what if i don’t want a cat tho

_ combeferre:  _ waht if i’m not a cat person

_ CourfTheRockJohnson:  _ ,,,,,

_ CourfTheRockJohnson:  _ i,,,um,,,,

_ combeferre:  _ i’m just kidding oh my god of course i like cats 

_ CourfTheRockJohnson:  _ oh thank god bcause like i really like you and im real down with this relationship we got goin on but for a hot second there i thought i was gonna have to break up with you

_ combeferre:  _ oh my 

_ CourfTheRockJohnson:  _ SO THE CAT

_ E:  _ courf we’re not gonna name your cat 

_ CourfTheRockJohnson:  _ ,,,,

_ CourfTheRockJohnson:  _ hwow

_ CourfTheRockJohnson:  _ and here i was thinking that we were F R I E N D S

_ E:  _ -_-

_ CourfTheRockJohnson:  _ I WILL NOT FORGET THIS BETRAYAL ENJOLRAS

_ holyjoly:  _ meredith grey is annoying anyway ok 

_ epipen:  _ joly are you still talking about greys anatomy 

_ holyjoly:  _ ITS A TERRIBLE SHOW

_ epipen:  _ i f c 

_ epipen:  _ yes meredith is v annoying but the rest of the characters are great ok 

_ holyjoly:  _ miranda bailey is the only good character 

_ holyjoly:  _ the only competent medical professional on that goddamn show

_ R:  _ well you have clearly never seen the episode where she injects a child with a deactivated hiv virus against the parents will lolll

_ holyjoly:  _ i,,,

_ holyjoly:  _ that is 

_ holyjoly:  _ im gonna cry 

_ flowerchild:  _ hey guys we still havent picked a name for the group chat 

_ CourfTheRockJohnson:  _ i just want a name for my cat :((((

_ combeferre:  _ oh my 

_ E:  _ if you’re trying to guilt trip me so i’ll pick a name for your cat it isnt gonna fucking work

_ R:  _ dont you just love it when he gets all firm like that cause i do 

_ holyjoly:  _ ,,,

_ casettetape:  _ grantaire stahp

_ flowerchild:  _ i still say we sticl with “flock of gays”

_ bitchass:  _ but im straight !!! 

_ bitchass:  _ and is no one gonna comment on “sticl”????

_ epipen:  _ oh my god guys just shut up

_ epipen: _ ,,,

**_epipen_ has renamed the conversation **_untitled document_** **

**Author's Note:**

> I don't even know what i'm doing honestly,,, i'll eventually put up more of these but I have no idea when. it's gonna be irregular i'm gonna be straightforward with you, this one took me like a month to write. 
> 
> BUT GUYS I saw aaron tveit in concert and it was p amazing js js :)
> 
> ok that's all, hope you enjoyed.
> 
> all the love xx
> 
> (if you would like to apply to edit my future fanfictions and work with me, give me some second opinions, and help me out in places where I need to touch up the story then please copy and paste the link below to fill out the application form  
> https://goo.gl/forms/MjwceEHAhTdcp2Xf2 )


End file.
